


Lovers' Quarrel

by Peapods



Category: Pundit RPF (US)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-30
Updated: 2010-01-30
Packaged: 2017-10-06 20:58:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peapods/pseuds/Peapods
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anderson is a bit upset that the whole world now knows about the problems with #keefjr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lovers' Quarrel

**Author's Note:**

> For the talk_bingo: "Lovers' quarrel"

"You told _everyone_!" Anderson exclaimed, slamming the mail down and pulling off his coat with jerky movements. "What _the hell_ were you thinking?"

"It wasn't a personal question!" Keith protested, shucking off his jacket and laying it over the chair. Anderson spared him a quick glare making Keith roll his eyes before hanging the jacket on the coat rack.

"Keith," Anderson said, disparagingly. "You asked, on national television, about erectile dysfunction in relation to belly fat." He looked pointedly at Keith's rather prominent middle-aged spread.

"Hey now," Keith said, voice full of offense.

"Oh, please, Keith, it's your own damn fault," Anderson said, with a roll of his eyes. "You insist on following a diet that leaves you looking like that and patently refuse to come to the gym with me--"

"With all the gym bunnies staring at me--"

"--So, you can't be too surprised when sometimes you have trouble getting it up," Anderson finished as though Keith hadn't said anything. "I am okay with it because frankly, if I were with you solely for the sex we wouldn't have lasted six months, but Jesus Christ does the whole world have to know the content of our sex life? I'm surprised my mother hasn't called with tips! Or, that Rachel hasn't left a long message on the answering machine consisting solely of her laughing herself sick."

"First of all, I highly doubt the whole world watches Dr. Oz, of all people--"

"It's called 'the internet'--"

"Second of all, I have trouble getting it up sometimes because I'm fifty fucking years old--"

"Hugh Hefner doesn't have that problem--"

"Hugh Hefner probably takes a Viagra cocktail every morning with coffee. Third, Rachel would never belittle my struggles, though she might make a comment about all those Cialis ads. And fourth, what do you mean 'if you were only in it for the sex we'd only have lasted six months!?'"

Anderson sighed and pulled a bottle from the wine refrigerator, opening it with practiced movements. "Keith, any sex therapist would tell us we're terrible for each other. You insist on topping more often than not, you don't want me to rim you nor will you rim me, I don't like shower sex, you don't like table sex. A little kiss-kiss grope-grope and I'm ready to go, you need a thorough coaching and a blow-job to get ready. Had you been anyone else I would tossed you out after six months and said good riddance. But I didn't, and you didn't go crawling back to grossly underage women and incidental handjobs with drunk sports junkies in back alleys, because despite us occasionally having terrible sex, it's with each other and that is, sappy as it sounds, all that matters. And yes, I get on your case about diet and exercise, but it is because I care, not because I'm so terribly dissatisfied with our sex life that I'm trying to fashion you into some kind of grey-haired Arnold Schwarzenegger."

Keith seemed to ponder that, some of his umbrage deflating and his face taking a more tender cast. "That was horribly sappy. And you are terrible with comparisons. And that back alley thing was _once_. I have managed to have normal sex with a man. But, I suppose you're right. Anyway, it's not like anyone outside our friends will be able to link it to you. So, really, all the embarrassment is mine. You'll be cast as the heroic young lead, sticking by his dysfunctional man because of love and duty--"

"And Stockholm Syndrome," Anderson cut in dryly, handing a glass to Keith. Keith smiled smugly as he took a sip. Anderson pointedly ignored the twinkle in his eyes. And the fact that he noticed something like twinkling eyes.

"You love me."

"Against my better judgment. And yours as well, apparently."

"Wanna go have sex?" And Anderson groaned as Keith waggled his eyebrows in a truly disturbing manner.

"You don't want to get a prescription first?"

"You think you're so witty," Keith growled, crowding a smiling Anderson against the counter.

"To be fair, you think so too."

"Against my own better judgment, I assure you."

"You wanna keep talking or go defy your now infamous reputation?"

"To defy it I'd have to go public."

Anderson stared up at him with doe-eyed innocence. "Keith, if you really want to... we can make a sex tape. Let all the world know you're not a fifty year old, slightly overweight man who has trouble getting it up with his incredibly hot, young, boy toy?"

"There are some days, I swear I don't know why I put up with you."

"You love me."

"It's, really, the only explanation."


End file.
